"Zombie Strippers"

According to Home Media Magazine, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment has announced Zombie Strippers for release on DVD October 28.

The plot is pretty self-explanatory so I'll just say that Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund star.

Hopefully, it'll be cheeky fun.

"Home Sick"

According to Home Media Magazine, Synapse Films has announced Home Sick for an August 26 release on DVD.

The plot goes something like this:

A maniac with a suitcase full of razorblades unleashes a super human killer upon a group of kids in a small Alabama town.

Tiffany Shepis stars in yet another cool-sounding horror flick.

"Devil's Mercy"

According to Fangoria, PeaceArch Entertainment has set its film Devil's Mercy for an October 7 DVD street date.

The plot is as follows:

Stephen Rea stars in the story of a family who moves into a Connecticut home where their young son senses something strange about their downstairs neighbor (Rea).

Rea is an interesting actor and these type of films about the habits of people who may or may not be psychotic are usually intriguing so I look forward to the film's DVD release in what has become a characteristically crowded October for horror films.

Brief review: "Lost Boys: The Tribe"

Distributor: Warner Premiere



A quirky follow-up to the 1987 cult hit directed by Joel Schumacher, Lost Boys: The Tribe may not please die-hard fans of the original but, taken on its own, offers a fun (and often funny) experience.

Brother and sister Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink) and Nicole (Autumn Reeser) have moved to the California coast town of Luna Bay to live with a none-too-pleased aunt after their parents die in a car accident. It isn't long before the younger and more lively sister pushes her protective brother into attending a party with her. At the party, she meets and falls in love with the mysterious Shane (Angus Sutherland, Donald's son). Of course, she had no way of knowing that he was the head of a "tribe" of vampires, let alone that drinking the drink he offered her (blood) would begin her transformation into one of his kind. After seeking advice from a man named Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman, reprising his role as the surfboard shaper and vampire hunter from the first film), Chris learns that if he can kill Shane before his sister feeds, she won't turn into a vampire and, as Frog says, her "mortal soul" will be saved.

Let's get the film's problems out of the way first. First off, P.J. Pesce, directing from a script by Hans Rodionoff, is obviously hampered by a small budget. The film was intended as a direct-to-DVD feature almost from the get-go. In spite of rumors of a theatrical release, rumors mostly started by Corey Feldman, the chances of that ever really becoming a reality were slim to none. The budget really only affects the scale of the few action sequences and a chase scene that pops up but Pesce manages to make such sequences work anyway because of sharp editing and smooth directing.

Then there is the humor. The film has a surplus of one-liners, mostly courtesy of Edgar Frog. Some may find them corny and otherwise cheesy but I thought they worked in the atmosphere established from the get-go by Pesce. The film mixes a healthy dose of comedy with gory action-horror set-pieces, much like the original. Sure, lines like "Who ordered the stake?" by Frog while brandishing two cross-shaped stakes are obvious but somehow work nonetheless because of the almost giddy directing by Pesce. The guy hasn't met a scene that he didn't think could use more fog, blood/gore, or humor, whatever the case may be.

In spite of a small budget, the affably corny writing (at times) works because of a better than could be expected assembled cast. As Chris, Hilgenbrink combines intelligence with just enough toughness to make his character believable throughout. As his sister, the cute-as-a-button Autumn Reeser is superb; her character gets some of the best comedy bits and she excels at them. As the head vampire, Angus Sutherland is quite good. Believably authoritative and a commanding screen presence, you definitely buy him as the head honcho of the undead. And then there's Feldman. With a line-delivery most similar to that of Christian Bale's Batman, a sort of deep, guttural sounding Corey is a little odd at first but once you get used to it, you realize that Feldman is clearly having fun and you are too.

Lost Boys: The Tribe is an example of an after-the-fact sequel that actually works; consistently entertaining and surprisingly well-acted. It's lots of fun.

DVD Releases: August 5/12

August 5:

Aztec Rex (Goldhill horror)
Baby Blues (Allumination FilmWorks horror)
Back At The Barnyard: When No One's Looking (Paramount comedy)
Blood And Sex Nightmare (Bloody Earth horror)
Bram Stoker's Dracula's Guest (Lionsgate horror)
Buds For Life (Maverick comedy)
Counterfeiters (Sony thriller)
Garfield's Fun Fest (Fox animated comedy)
Hive, The (Genius Products horror)
Lobster Tale (Trinity comedy)
Miss Conception (First Look comedy
My Brother Is An Only Child (ThinkFilm comedy)
My Mummy (Rivercoast horror-comedy)
Nim's Island (Fox adventure)
Queen Sized (Anchor Bay drama)
Rogue (Dimension Extreme horror)
Slippery Slope (Lifesize Home Entertainment comedy)
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (Sony sci-fi sequel)
Wasted (Weinstein Company drama)
Webs (Image sci-fi)


August 12:

3 A.M. (York horror)
American Mall (Paramount drama)
Art Of War II: The Betrayal (Sony thriller)
Belly 2: Millionaire Boyz Club (Lionsgate drama)
CJ7 (Sony comedy)
Dick: The Devil Dared Me To (Vivendi Visual comedy)
Felon (Sony thriller)
Frank (First Look family comedy)
I'm Through With White Girls (Image comedy)
Juncture (MTI thriller)
Killing Gene, The (Dimension Extreme thriller)
Legacy (Weinstein comedy)
Ninja Cheerleaders (PeaceArch action/comedy)
Orange Thief (WB comedy)
Outside Sales (Echo Bridge comedy)
Resurrection Mary (Laguna Films horror)
Secret, The (Image supernatural drama)
Smart People (Miramax drama/comedy)
Survival (York horror)
Watching The Detectives (PeaceArch comedy)


A rather disappointing two weeks highlighted by a few select films worth checking out. August 5 offers the gut-wrenching thrills of "Baby Blues," the killer croc fun of "Rogue," and the cheeky B-movie charm of the third "Starship Troopers."

August 12 has a Dimension Extreme title in "The Killing Gene" and the hopefully fun "Ninja Cheerleaders" along with another Wesley Snipes film in "Art Of War II: The Betrayal."

"Wicked Lake"

According to Home Media Magazine, Shriek Show has set the film Wicked Lake for a October 7 release on DVD.

The plot is as follows:

Four beautiful but mysterious girls embark on a road trip for a relaxing weekend getaway in the woods. Unbeknownst to them, two clans of deranged male misfits follow them to their secluded and picturesque lakeside cabin in the mountains. The girls appear to be easy prey for the predatory perverts until the fateful stroke of midnight when all hell, literally , breaks loose and the tables are turned.

Intriguing if generic. Still likely worth seeing come October.

"13 Hours in a Warehouse"

According to Home Media Magazine, Maverick Entertainment has announced 13 Hours in a Warehouse for a DVD release on October 28.

The plot synopsis via Fangoria is as follows:

Written and directed by novelist Dav Kaufman, the movie takes place in the titular locale, where five thieves hole up after finishing a job. Once inside, the become haunted by strange numbers and a lot worse.

Aside from the decidedly unwieldy title, the film sounds intriguing.

"Trackman"

According to Home Media Magazine, Lionsgate has announced Trackman for an October 14 DVD release.

The Russian horror film concerns a gang of thieves who hole up inside what they think is an abandoned insane asylum. Little do they know that a psychopathic murderer calls it home...

Word from overseas has the film playing like an American slasher movie, pretty generic except for the presence of ultra violence.

Still, it'll be interesting to see how the Russians make their own version of a slasher film.

"The Substitute"

According to Home Media Magazine, Lionsgate has announced The Substitute for a October 14 DVD release.

The plot synopsis is as follows: 6th Grade gets a new substitute teacher. She wants to train the class for an international competition in Paris. But something isn't right. How is she able read kids' minds? Why is she so mean? And how does she manage to convince everyone's parents she is so great when the whole class knows she is really an alien?

Reminds me of those "My Teacher is an Alien" books by Bruce Coville, only more twisted. I'm so there!

"Buried Alive"

According to Home Media Magazine, Sony has announced Buried Alive for DVD release on September 30.

Adapted from the Internet series of the same name, the film is about a group of young people who have suffered the titular fate, with a brother and sister desperately tracking on-line clues to rescue them.

The plot is interesting, to say the least. The Internet aspect though is troubling as movies rarely handle computers well; they usually come across as over-simplified or corny. Let's hope this latest effort gets it right.

Brief review: "The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story"

Distributor: Genius Products/Weinstein Company



A poorly constructed look at the search for a serial killer (or killers) terrorizing Boston during the 1960's, The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story has some interesting points and decent performances but the slapdash nature of how the film progresses does its best to kill any momentum gained from them.

Writer-director-producer (hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he also catered) Michael Feifer has made a killing (pun intended) from true crime films based on infamous serial murder cases. This film marks his third such endeavor after "Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield" and "Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck" and still awaiting release are "Bundy: An American Icon" and "B.T.K." All of them were written and filmed in a one year span, a fact Feifer is clearly proud of based on his comments on the commentary track for this film. Let's not forget his other 2008 release, "Bram Stoker's Dracula's Guest," hitting DVD August 5. The budgets for each film ranged from $1 to $2.5 million dollars and the scripts were cranked out in five days or less by Mr. Feifer. Based on his results with The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story, I'd suggest he take at least a few more days to polish his scripts because this one stunk.

Between June 1962 and January 1964, the city of Boston was stalked by the Strangler, who killed and sexually assaulted 13 women, each found strangled with stockings. The man who confessed to these murders was Albert De Salvo (David Faustino). The real killer was never found as it became pretty much a done deal that De Salvo was in it for the fame and was really just a small-time crook. As presented here, the facts of the case are jumbled, to say the least.

Feifer decides to show a large amount of restraint in his dramatization of the events of the case. The level of violence is about on par with an episode of "Criminal Minds" on CBS, probably even less graphic. There is only one scene where blood is shown and the single rape in the film is only briefly hinted at. The problem quickly becomes boredom as Feifer jumps forward and backwards in time at about 10-minute intervals, leaving scenes half-finished and subplots dropped right and left. We meet De Salvo's wife and hints at their troubled marriage but after a single scene, she is never seen or heard from again. The same could be said for the lead detective's (Andrew Divoff) home life as he too is having problems with his wife. His whole character reeks of poor writing, as he is just the latest example of the cliched overworked detective who questions anything and everything. If the film had decided to sensationalize things a bit, perhaps the film wouldn't play so dry and dull throughout.

That said, the performances are decent from the entire cast. Especially surprising was David Faustino, best known for playing "Bud Bundy" on the 1980's sitcom "Married...with Children. He's very convincing as De Salvo, playing up the charming con artist aspect of the character with aplomb. Kostas Sommer is almost as good as his cellmate who convinces him to confess to the murders after he's been arrested for unrelated crimes. Divoff suffers a little because of the bland character he plays but he still brings respectability to the role.

The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story is a narrative mess of half-developed plots and slapdash writing but the acting is good enough to recommend the film to true crime buffs.

The poster for "Jennifer's Body"

The first poster for the upcoming horror film written by Oscar winner Diablo Cody has surfaced.

Jennifer's Body stars Megan Fox ("Transformers") and Amanda Seyfried ("Mamma Mia") in the story of a cheerleader (Fox, pictured) who, after becoming possessed, begins killing off her classmates.

The film, which is scheduled for release sometime next year, sounds like fun. Cody wrote great dialogue in "Juno" and logic dictates that we can look forward to more of it in this film. Couple that with lots of bloody violence and an attractive cast and you've got the recipe for a potentially awesome movie.

"Nympha"

According to Home Media Magazine, MTI has announced the horror film Nympha for a September 9 DVD release.

The film stars Tiffany Shepis and concerns an American who encounters evil forces shortly after arriving at a convent in the Italian countryside.

Shepis is almost always entertaining so for her alone the film should be worth a look.

"Pink Eye"

According to Home Media Magazine, Halo8 Releasing has announced Pink Eye for a September 30 DVD release.

The film concerns secret drug-testing at an insane asylum that spirals out of control. Patients are dying in sick and twisted ways and those who survive are becoming raging, homicidal lunatics. It's only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose and the patients begin to crave freedom to take their vengeance out on the world outside.

Sounds suspiciously similar to "Insanitarium" but I plan on renting it to see for myself.

Brief review: "Dark Honeymoon"

Distributor: Starz/Anchor Bay



Dark Honeymoon offers a fun if commonplace tale of suspense.

After a brief courtship, a man (Nick Cornish) marries an enchanting woman (Lindy Booth), and then things begin to go terribly wrong. During their honeymoon on the foggy Oregon coast, he discovers her shocking secret as those around them die horrible and violent deaths - one by one. The tension increases with the body count, and he soon learns that you never really know someone... until you marry them. The late Roy Scheider, Eric Roberts, Daryl Hannah, and Tia Carrere costar.

Dark Honeymoon is an example of a film that gets by mostly on the imminently watchable nature of its cast. The plotline is so straightforward and otherwise run-of-the-mill throughout that a cast of lesser actors would have made it a chore to sit through. Lucky for writer-director David O'Malley that he was able to assemble a cast of this caliber. Sure, not one would be considered a big name but they are all screen veterans who know how to bring fun to their roles.

In the lead role, Nick Cornish is likable and convincing as the newlywed who slowly recognizes that his wife is a walking, talking nutball-nutcase. As the nutcase, Lindy Booth is pitch perfect. She smartly resists playing the role as a caricature. By doing so, the audience at least can somewhat understand why someone might have fallen in love with her to begin with. But when she is showing her dark side, Booth is clearly having fun, relishing her chance to go psychopathic on everyone.

Among the supporting performances, Roy Scheider is great as the manager of the motel where the couple is staying for their honeymoon. He recognizes that something is not quite right with Booth even before her husband does and calmly tries to impart this knowledge to him. Carrere and Hannah play guests at the motel who, after crossing paths with her, also notice that Booth is not playing with a full deck, so to speak. Eric Roberts is a hoot as a arrogant customer at the gas station the couple stops at on the way to the motel.

Sure, it is almost generic to a fault. Even so, Dark Honeymoon is worth a look, if only to witness one of Roy Schneider's final performances.

"Prom Night"

According to Home Media Magazine, Sony Home Entertainment has announced the Prom Night remake for an August 19 DVD release.

Having seen the film in theatres, the unrated cut has really no hope of improving the film. It is so generic and bloodless (in more ways than one) that it really only will appeal to teenyboppers who haven't seen many horror films in their life. Longtime horror fans will be bored rather quickly.

Prom Night is one to skip, unrated or not.

Brief review: "Gag"

Distributor: ThinkFilm



Gag is a generic "Saw" wannabe.

When two thieves easily break into a Hollywood mansion, they figure it'll be a cakewalk. Things get interesting when they find a man bound, gagged, and beaten in one of the rooms. Their decision to help him is only their first mistake. It seems a serial killer who has taken a liking to torture has trapped them in the house. Needless to say, the killer does not have the best of intentions or plans in store for them.

Gag is so mind-numbingly rote that if one is not jazzed-up on caffeine, they might have difficulty staying awake throughout. The said thing is, the film runs only a little over 70 minutes and still is dull as can be. One problem is that the directing and writing by Scott W. Mckinlay and Kirk Sever respectively, presents what should be rather straightforward material in a fashion that can charitably be described as muddled. Together with the haphazard editing hack job by Michael Darrow that thinks that by copying the MTV style editing of the "Saw" films, only more emphasized, makes the film "stylish" and "hip." This is wrong as it makes the film almost incoherent at times.

The filmmakers also make the error of revealing the villain too early as well. The first "Saw" was ingenious in the way it kept the viewer wondering who "Jigsaw" was and even when you thought you had it, the film proved you wrong. Once revealed, the villain here becomes hilarious in the way he whines and postulates via goofy, impassioned speeches.

As for the torture aspect, it too is laughably done. I don't know about you, but I really have a hard time finding boiling pennies and then putting them on someone's skin anything more than a stupid trick middle schoolers would do to one another as a lame way of testing their so-called mettle.

On top of all that, the victims are about as dumb as a box of rocks. They are presented with numerous chances to escape that they, of course, don't take. Hell, even the front door of the house remains unlocked and unopened!

If being stuck in a house with dimwits sounds like entertainment to you, go ahead and rent this. That said, most will be moved to "Gag"ging within minutes of the stupidity.

July 18-20 Box Office

From Variety:

1. The Dark Knight (WB) $158,411,483

2. Mamma Mia! (Uni) $27,751,240

3. Hancock (Sony) $14,040,178/$191,543,979

4. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (New Line) $12,340,435/$43,504,712

5. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (Uni) $10,117,815/$56,526,885

6. Wall-E (Disney) $10,070,396/$182,732,709

7. Space Chimps (Fox) $7,181,374

8. Wanted (Uni) $5,072,805/$123,322,635

9. Get Smart (WB) $4,125,021/$119,608,695

10. Kung Fu Panda (DreamWorks) $1,860,854/$206,616,381

Wow! That's all I can say about the opening for "The Dark Knight." It now holds the record for largest weekend for a single film in the history of box office tracking, beating the $151,116,516 that "Spider-Man 3" amassed in the first weekend of May 2007. Not only that, but "The Dark Knight" is an amazing film that rightfully seems to have fantastic word-of-mouth on its side. It could easily make over $400 million total.

"Mamma Mia!" opened right in line with "Hairspray," last summer's musical of note. It may be able to make more than $100 million total, depending on its word-of-mouth. The less said about the poor opening of the slapdash animated "Space Chimps," the better.

Next weekend brings Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as "Step Brothers" and Chris Carter's "The X-Files: I Want to Believe."

"Seed"

According to Home Media Magazine, Vivendi Visual Entertainment has announced Uwe Boll's Seed for a September 9 DVD release.

The film concerns a serial killer who breaks out of prison and goes on a murderous rampage. Word has it that the film borders on tastelessly violent so make of that what you will.

I may check out the film out of curiosity.

Brief review: "Trapped Ashes"

Distributor: Lionsgate



Trapped Ashes is an anthology film telling four stories plus a wraparound tale so it shouldn't be a surprise to hear that it is very much a hit-and-miss affair. Unfortunately, it is more miss than hit overall.

The framing story directed by Joe Dante ("Gremlins") involves the tour of a movie studio by an odd tour guide (Henry Gibson) with the main attraction being a haunted house set featured in a set of films called "Hysteria." The guests and tour guide soon find themselves trapped in the house. According to the tour guide, their only way out is to tell their most horrifying stories, leading into four subsequent short films of sorts. This section works pretty well, mixing humor with good performances and an eerie musical score.

Since each one of the stories play like mini-films, it is best to review each separately.

The first involves an aspiring actress (Rachel Veltri) who is struggling to get chosen for parts so she decides to have breast augmentation surgery. For some reason, she decides to let a creepy doctor use a new procedure in which he implants flesh from cadavers instead of silicone. Before long, she realizes that her breasts are now intent on eating whoever and whatever they can. As directed by Ken Russell ("Altered States"), this segment attempts to mix pitch-black humor with horror but really doesn't do either very well. Aside from a game performance by Veltri, it flails about with no real direction until a truly bizarre and rather stupid conclusion. The film "Teeth" did a similar idea much better.

The next story surrounds a couple's trip to Japan. While on a scenic walk, they come across a man who has hanged himself. The wife (Lara Harris) soon begins to have violently erotic dreams about the man and is then kidnapped, seemingly by the man's restless spirit. The husband (Scott Lowell) consults monks to find out what has happened to her. They inform him that she apparently has been taken to a form of Hell, and he must risk his life to get her back. As directed by Sean S. Cunningham ("Friday the 13th"), this is easily the worst segment of the bunch. The supernatural elements are poorly explained, the horror never convincing because of lame special effects, the animated interludes out of place, and the acting less than stellar.

The third tale is about a screenwriter (John Saxon) who is friends with a famed film director he just refers to as "Stanley." They enjoy talking about anything and everything, often while playing chess. Then one day, Stanley just disappears, leaving his friend and new girlfriend (Amelia Cooke) high and dry. The screenwriter then begins a torrid affair with his friend's girlfriend, all the while feeling guilty about it. If only he knew the whole truth behind his friend's disappearance and, more importantly, his girlfriend. As directed by Monte Hellman ("The Terror"), this segment stands in stark contrast to the others. Highly evocative of earlier Hollywood, it resists the sex and violence that mark the other segments, instead going for something a little classier and restrained. That said, it still really doesn't engage. The pace is especially slow and one wonders for much of the time what it is doing in a film like this as it really isn't a horror film for 99% of the time. Only an out-of-left-field twist at the end qualifies it as a horror film and the twist doesn't work, partly because we were given no hint of it earlier.

The final story concerns a woman named Nathalie (Michèle-Barbara Pelletier), who was born with a "twin." It seems that her mother had ingested a tapeworm while pregnant and decided to let it live inside her because killing it would have killed her baby as well. Much oddness ensues as the tapeworm goes on a murderous rampage. Yeah, I said it was odd. As directed by John Gaeta (the special effects wizard behind "The Matrix" trilogy and "Speed Racer"), this segment is only interesting because one wonders for much of the time how the baby will turn out with the tapeworm inside the mother. Once she is born, the tapeworm doesn't make an immediate appearance but we know it is inevitable. Only through anticipation does this segment hold one's interest. Too bad the payoff is always a big letdown. I can't be the only one who finds it quite odd to see such poor special effects in a film directed by a man known for special effects.

Trapped Ashes offers interest only because of the relative rarity of the anthology format in cinema. The actual product of the format though is made up of lackluster segments drowned in stupid plot mechanics and misguided effects work.

"Pathology"

According to Home Media Magazine, MGM has announced Pathology for release on DVD September 23.

The film involves a group of medical students playing a game to see who can commit the perfect murder. Apparently, plain old Monopoly or Clue wasn't nearly exciting enough for them.

"Stuck"

According to Home Media Magazine, Image Entertainment has announced Stuart Gordon's Stuck for a October 7 DVD release.

The film, based on the incredible true story, concerns a man who gets hits by a car and the woman who hit him leaves him in the windshield, worried that she will go to prison if she takes him to the hospital. Wow. I can't believe that is a true a story. For that alone I will definitely check out the film.

Brief review: "Asylum"

Distributor: MGM



Asylum is a magnificently gory, stylish, and disturbing film.

A group of college freshmen discover that their dorm was once a mental hospital where unspeakable experiments were performed by a deranged physician trying to "cure" troubled teens. But now the mad doctor's ghost is back to continue his torturous work.

David R. Ellis is an underrated director who continues to deliver fun little films, whether it is the nonstop thrills of something like "Cellular" or the kitschy fun of a "Snakes on a Plane." Asylum continues his winning streak.

Asylum has a standard mad doctor plot not unlike that seen in the "House on Haunted Hill" films but does some neat things with it. The plot develops gradually, introducing the main character of Madison, played by the undeniably cute Sarah Roemer ("Disturbia"), and the other college students unlucky enough to live in a haunted asylum turn dorm. Too many horror films rush right into the killing of nameless victims we haven't learned anything about and thus couldn't give a damn whether they live or die. True to form though, Ellis takes the time to develop the characters enough so that we have enough information to determined whether we like them or not. He has done this in every one of his films and it makes them more successful as a result.

The film also boasts some very nice gore arising from creative death sequences, another area in which Ellis excels (see the brilliantly diabolical "Final Destination 2" for proof). The gore is even more effective because of the dark atmosphere in which it occurs. The scenes in which the characters die all harken back to problems from their past, mixing a flashback of a disturbing moment from their childhood with the character of the doctor taking place of the person at the core of their bad memory. The scenes closely resemble those seen in "The Butterfly Effect" and match them for their unsettling nature.

The entire cast gives decent to good performances. Roemer is the emotional center of the film and effortlessly garners sympathy. The rest of the cast fills their roles quite well, lending strong support.

An imminently watchable film, Asylum delivers a stellar mix of gore and character, making for a satisfying cinematic experience.

Brief review: "Steel Trap"

Distributor: Dimension Extreme



To put it bluntly, Steel Trap is an awful horror film.

A New Year's bash in an abandoned high-rise building turns into a grisly bloodbath when five guests receive a mysterious text invite to a VIP party on the 27th floor. Joined by two party crashers, the strangers soon realize they're trapped and the only way out are the twisted clues left by a murderous psychopath. The catch? Each game leads to one of their own gruesome deaths.

Steel Trap is a consistently misguided attempt at replicating the "Saw" formula, only with slasher movie conventions (i.e. the killer actually stabs and otherwise dismembers victims instead of letting traps do the trick).

Chief among the film's problems is the stunningly horrid acting by the ensemble of no-name actors destined to remain as such. Their line readings are stilted and laughably unconvincing every step of the way. Their myriad attempts at acting frightened are hilariously inept. Director and co-writer Luis Cámara doesn't help matters with his generic as can be script and restrained directing style. Usually, a restrained directorial style would be preferred but when the material is so unendingly generic and by-the-numbers dull, a little pizazz is needed to keep one's interest. Unfortunately, Cámara prefers the "point and shoot" method in which pretty much everything is shot from either medium angles or close-ups and the editing is non-descript. Even the hyper-edited style of the "Saw" franchise would be preferred to what is offered here. As for the aforementioned generic plot, not even a late-in-the-game plot twist is handled well, although the last five minutes of the film are more interesting and entertaining than the approximately 85 previous minutes of tedium.

When about the only really positive thing you can say about a movie is that at least it eventually ends, you know you're in trouble. Steel Trap is one such film, a disastrously dull slasher film.

"Five Across the Eyes"

According to Home Media Magazine, Starz/Anchor Bay has announced the horror-thriller Five Across the Eyes for a September 30 DVD release.

The low-budget film concerns five girls who get into what seems like a minor fender bender on the way home from a football game, only to be terrorized throughout the night by the other car. The film is notable for taking place in the car for almost its entiriety and for being produced on a measely $4,000 budget.

Brief review: "Insanitarium"

Distributor: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment



Insanitarium is a brutally gory and fun film. If you like your horror films quick and dirty, this is right up your alley.

The film concerns a man (Jesse Metcalfe) who fakes insanity in order to get himself admitted to the mental institution where his suicidal sister (Kiele Sanchez) was admitted. It seems that the chief doctor of the institution (Peter Stormare) is conducting experiments on his patients, some of which are turning into sub-human cannibals. The brother and sister must escape before all hell breaks loose and people start feasting on one another.

Writer-director Jeff Buhler's ("Midnight Meat Train") film is a blender of many differing influences and styles. There is the obvious parallel to the premise of the TV series "Prison Break" with one sibling getting himself admitted in order to break out his brother, or, in this case, his sister. The film also mixes a thriller with the gore seen in a horror film in the early goings before becoming a full-blown horror film not unlike a George Romero zombie film in the film's second half. Speaking of which, with the main character named Jack Romero and another character named Loomis, Buhler sometimes wears his love of genre on his sleeve.

What I liked about Insanitarium was the love Buhler obviously put into the film, determined to make it a horror film that is both gruesome and funny, yet disturbing at times as well. The pacing is breakneck pretty much from the word "go," the acting is better than expected with Metcalfe and especially Stormare giving credible and often fun performances. On top of that, not only is the plot as credible as necessary, it provides for a plethora of notably gruesome scenes. Without spoiling anything, this film has perhaps more sharp objects stabbed and/or plunged into throats, stomachs, and other body parts than any other film in recent memory. On top of that, the film features decapitation, limb-ripping and eating, and multiple electrocutions.

Sure, it takes a few liberties with the story, but Insanitarium is one hell of a fun movie to watch.

DVD Releases: July 22/29

July 22:

21 (Universal drama)
Arizona Summer (Allumination FilmWorks drama)
Autumn Hearts (Image drama)
Big Dreams, Little Tokyo (Echo Bridge comedy)
Boston Strangler: The Untold Story (Weinstein thriller)
Brutal Massacre: A Comedy (Anchor Bay)
Celine (Monarch drama)
Dark Honeymoon (Anchor Bay thriller)
Death Valley (Allumination FilmWorks thriller)
Evil Behind You (Allumination FilmWorks horror)
Greener Mountains (Allumination FilmWorks drama)
Halfway Decent (Westlake comedy)
Into The Arms Of Strangers (Vanguard thriller)
Last Winter (IFC horror)
Picture This! (MGM comedy)
Pray for Morning (Allumination FilmWorks horror)
Six Reasons Why (THINKfilm western)
Towards Darkness (PeaceArch thriller)
Turn The River (Screen Media drama)
Two Tickets To Paradise (First Look comedy)
Without Light (York drama)


July 29:

100,000,000 BC (Asylum Entertainment sci-fi)
Alice Upside Down (Anchor Bay family comedy)
Antisocial Behaviour (Image horror)
Band's Visit (Sony drama)
Boxboarders! (PeaceArch comedy)
Cyxork 7 (Troma sci-fi comedy)
Deal, The (PeaceArch drama)
Doomsday (Universal thriller)
Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (WB/New Line comedy)
Hopeville (Lionsgate drama)
Lost Boys: The Tribe (Warner Premiere horror)
Marigold (Echo Bridge drama)
Never Back Down (Summit Entertainment action)
Shine A Light (Paramount documentary)
Side Sho (Lionsgate horror)
Stargate: Continuum (Fox sci-fi)
Superbadazz (Maverick comedy)
WarGames: The Dead Code (MGM thriller)


July 22 is a mostly crummy week almost saved by "Death Valley" and, hopefully, "Boston Strangler: The Untold Story." I also doubt it's a coincidence that the Ron Perlman film "The Last Winter" is hitting DVD as Hellboy 2 plays in theatres.

July 29 features the long-awaited(?) "Lost Boys" sequel. Based on advance footage, it looks like a combination of horror, action, and comedy. It looks like fun; I hope it lives up to that promise.

"Scream 4" on the way

According to Variety, The Weinstein Company just signed a theatrical distribution deal with the pay TV network Showtime. While this at first may not seem of much interest, the deal includes upcoming films from Dimension, one of which happens to be a fourth entry in the "Scream" franchise.

Apparently, the fourth will be a reboot of sorts, starting things over. They had better not just remake the original with a new cast. That would just be insanely stupid and pointless. Also, what's with these reboots? It seems after the success of "Batman Begins," the thing to do now is start a franchise over if previous entries either stunk or it has been a while since they were relevant.

With a new "Scream" redux coming, I eagerly await a "Saw" reboot in about 2015...ugh.

July 11-13 Box Office

From Variety:

1. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (Uni) $34,539,115

2. Hancock (Sony) $32,080,560/$164,115,004

3. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (New Line) $21,018,141

4. Wall-E (Disney) $18,793,588/$163,055,900

5. Wanted (Uni) $11,996,175/$112,455,060

6. Get Smart (WB) $7,201,376/$111,564,176

7. Meet Dave (Fox) $5,251,918

8. Kung Fu Panda (DreamWorks) $4,411,412/$202,154,311

9. The Incredible Hulk (Uni) $2,324,345/$129,905,435

10. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (Picturehouse) $2,303,054/$10,992,641


"Hellboy II" and "Journey 3D" deliver impressive openings. The 3D aspect of the latter is really a draw, it seems. Meanwhile, Eddie Murphy has one of the biggest flops of his career with "Meet Dave." After "The Love Guru" and now this, once popular comedians are struggling at the box office this summer.

Next week brings the highly anticipated Batman film "The Dark Knight" along with the musical "Mamma Mia!" and the CGI-animated "Space Chimps."

Brief review: "Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust"

Distributor: Full Moon Pictures



Set on a movie studio lot, Silvia St. Croix's comedy-horror sequel Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust attempts to intertwine movie business satire with good old-fashioned horror movie stabbings and gore via producer Charles Band's ever-present puppet creations. The result is less than enthralling.

Kelvin (the questionably credited "K-von") hopes to keep his late father's movie studio afloat by making a sequel to one of his dad's trashy movies, some stupid thing about witchcraft and puppets coming to life (natch). All is proceeding as planned until an assistant revives the psychotic cookie known as the Gingerdead Man (voiced by John Vulich, taking over for Gary Busey). Imbued with an executed serial killer's soul, the knife-wielding dessert slashes his way through the cast and crew, until the on-set body count rivals that of Kelvin's movie. There is also a subplot about Kelvin giving a terminally ill boy (Joseph Porter) a tour of the studio, part of the boy's "End of the Rainbow" wish.

Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust had the potential to be a horror fan's dream, what with its constant referencing of horror staples and filmmakers and a cadre of industry veterans either playing themselves or a version of themselves, often poking fun at their image as well. For example, infamous direct-to-video horror movie director David DeCoteau appears as the director of one of the studio's films. Tommy, the terminally ill boy, yells out, "Hey, that's David DeCoteau. He's known for horror movies with homo-erotic undertones." Cut to the filming of a scene of scantily-clad men spanking one another and a woman captive. Fairly funny stuff given the director's reputation. Also appearing are SFX veteran Gregory Nicotero and his brother Frank, special effects wizard John Carl Buechler, writer and make-up artist Kenneth J. Hall, KNB Effects guru Michael Deak, and Adam Green, the director of such films as "Hatchet" and "Spiral."

Unfortunately, the appearance of said horror industry veterans does nothing to stop a stupid script and lethargic direction from derailing any sense of fun you're likely to get out of the film. The film's idea of humor is to have the title character incessantly yell out corny one-liners. Take the scene in which he is stalking an effeminate hairstylist. He says before attacking, "Time for a slice of fruitcake" and proceeds to shove an electrical device right up the guy's butt while yelling, "You like it up the..." well, you know. The enterprise isn't helped by lackadaisical pacing that makes the barely over an hour film seem twice as long. There's only so much discussion of the ins and outs of puppetry that I can take. Director St. Croix either had a mandate to focus on the puppets or she loves them almost as much as Mr. Band. I'm guessing it's the former and this is just a gig on the way to bigger and better things for St. Croix.

Burdened with leaden pacing and juvenile humor, Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust is one stale cookie of a film.

"Vipers" and "Pulse 2: Afterlife"

According to Fangoria, Genius Products/Dimension Extreme have set the release dates for Pulse 2: Afterlife and Vipers.

As you can see, Vipers stars the down but not quite out Tara Reid along with the one and only Corbin Bersen in a tale of genetically-altered snakes run wild, terrorizing hotel guests on an isolated island. What I'm most interested in is Reid's performance, as reports surfaced of her arriving on set intoxicated and barely functioning after long nights of partying. I wouldn't be too shocked to see a half-awake, bored with it performance from her given the evidence.

Pulse 2: Afterlife continues where the 2006 sequel left off, people having fled the ghost-infested and infected cities for refugee camps out in the middle of nowhere. The Kristen Bell-starring remake wasn't terrible but definitely was not great either. I hope that the fact that this new film was made with an R-rating in mind from the start leads to improvement.

Vipers hits DVD September 23 with Pulse 2: Afterlife streeting a week later on September 30.

"Copycat"

According to Home Media Magazine, Lionsgate will release Copycat direct-to-DVD on September 23.

Not much info can be found about the film but the plot is pretty easy to decipher given the coverart. Look for more information as the release date nears.

Brief review: "Impact Point"

Distributor: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment



In Impact Point a professional volleyball player named Kelly Reyes (Melissa Keller) is on her way up in the AVP volleyball league. She is competing for the championship and has just received a new teammate in Jen Crowe (Kayla Ewell) after a fellow player is found dead, the result of an apparent hit and run accident. She also has caught the eye of a sports columnist (Brian Austin Green). It is not long before the two begin something of a romantic relationship. Trouble arises when her new boyfriend begins to act suspiciously and the columnist he said he was turns up missing. She tries to break it off with him, only to have him begin to stalk her, complete with cameras in her apartment. He vows to make it his mission to kill her for dumping him. Just how far will the obsessed fan go?

Impact Point is certainly cliched, there's no getting around it. Stalker films are a dime a dozen, especially ones like this that try and insert some erotic elements in an effort to attract a male audience that might otherwise avoid what is essentially another Lifetime made for TV movie in plot and execution. I say execution because the aforementioned erotic elements are so half-assed and bound to disappoint those looking for them as they are about the level of a TV show in risqueness (is that a word?). Countless shots of the volleyball players' butts is about as erotic as it gets.

The by-the-numbers nature of the film extends to the thriller aspects of the film as well. Director Hayley Cloake (The House of Usher) doesn't really even try to create a sense of mystery and intrigue to the film. Aside from a stupid as hell plot twist late in the game, Impact Point plays it straight, content to try and get by on scantily-clad volleyball players who aren't even that attractive and Brian Austin Green playing over-the-top crazy. Suffice to say, it does not work.

The acting is pretty awful across the board. Keller started her career as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and it shows. She can't act worth a lick. Resembling Rebecca Romijn's evil twin, she is consistently stiff and unconvincing no matter what mood her character is in. Her overacting when frightened has to be seen to be believed it's so laughable. Brian Austin Green alternates between overacting or near-comatose, just looking bored, biding his time before he can return to filming "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles."

Impact Point is the type of film that will seem better when it debuts on cable in a few months but that's not saying much. It is just another generic B-grade thriller waste of time that doesn't even deliver on its sliver of potential.

"Mother of Tears"

According to Home Media Magazine, Dimension Extreme will release Dario Argento's Mother of Tears on DVD September 23.

The film stars the director's daughter Asia Argento and reportedly contains Argento's signature mix of ultra brutal violence, rampant sex and nudity, and a healthy dose of surrealism.

Argento almost always brings the fun so I look forward to seeing this in late September.

"Never Cry Werewolf"

According to Home Media Magazine, Genius Entertainment will release Never Cry Werewolf on DVD September 16.

The film concerns a reality TV producer (Kevin Sorbo) who investigates myths and legends. He gets word of a werewolf sighting in a small town. At first it seems like a hoax. But it is actually all-too-true...

I love a good werewolf movie and even a cheesy werewolf movie can have some entertainment value, such as Wes Craven's "Cursed." I'm looking forward to finding out whether this latest lycan film can deliver.

Brief review: "The Secret"

Distributor: Image Entertainment



A moderately effective supernatural drama/thriller, The Secret is hampered by a bizarre premise that lacks depth and a few last-minute missteps that leave the viewer feeling cold.

A loving couple (David Duchovny and Lili Taylor) love their daughter Samantha (Olivia Thirlby, "Juno") even though she definitely gets on their nerves quite often. While driving, mother and daughter get into an argument that leads to a brutal car crash, leaving both on the brink of death. As Samantha is about to die, her mother reaches out and somehow "transfers" her life into her daughter, killing her in the process. Or so they think. When Samantha wakes up though, she is actually the mother trapped in her daughter's body. This odd predicament obviously has Dad confused and otherwise befuddled, but he thinks it best for her to continue living their daughter's life as if everything is normal. It will be their little secret. Their hope is that the real Samantha will escape from whatever limbo she is in and return to her body.

The Secret really had its back against the wall with such an odd premise. The marketing materials compare it to "Ghost" and there are some similarities, what with the mother helping her daughter remain "alive" because of her own love and sacrifice. That said, The Secret is a lot creepier (in a weird, not good way). The source of much of its creepiness is Duchovny's characters complaints. He realizes that even though his wife is technically with him, because she is in the form of his daughter, he is unable to make love to her. That doesn't prevent his wife from coming onto him, even while in her daughter's body. Cue multiple scenes of a 16 year-old girl dancing and otherwise acting seductively towards a much older man. Even though director Vincent Perez smartly doesn't play up these scenes by going too far into the sordid material, they still are a detriment to the film because the tension hangs over every interaction between the two. Since there are multitude of such interactions, the tension is ever-present. What's worse, the pace of the film oftentimes slows to a crawl. The conclusion is fairly obvious from the start so there is no reason to prolong things but such inanities as a late-in-the-game plot gaffe that threatens to derail any sense of purpose the film had built up.

The performances are a mixed bag. Lili Taylor really doesn't have much to do as she is barely in the film. Duchovny is as wooden as ever, showing that all those years on "The X-Files" haven't improved his acting. Thirlby is best as she ably plays what is essentially two characters with aplomb, lending depth and grace to her role. She too though can't escape the ever-increasing stupidity of the plot.

The Secret isn't worth knowing.

DVD Releases: July 15

Asylum (MGM horror)
Bank Job, The (Lionsgate action)
College Road Trip (Disney comedy)
Final Approach (RHI action)
Heavy Petting (Anchor Bay comedy)
Insanitarium (Sony horror)
Mad Bad (Maverick action)
Meet Bill (First Look comedy)
Never Forever (Arts Alliance America drama)
Penelope (Summit comedy)
Roxy Hunter And The Secret Of The Shaman (Sony comedy)
Shutter (Fox horror)
Steel Trap (Dimension Extreme horror)
Step Up 2: The Streets (Buena Vista drama)
Trapped Ashes (Lionsgate horror)


Another stellar week for horror releases, quite a feat considering there is only one theatrical release in the bunch and it is likely the worst out of all of them. That said, I have not seen Asylum, Insanitarium, Steel Trap, or Trapped Ashes but "Shutter" was very mediocre. Not a terrible movie, just kind of blah. At least it was better than "The Eye," I'll give it that much. It is also worth noting that two of the horror releases are about insane asylum/insanitariums. There really haven't been all that many horror films of note about that topic ("The House on Haunted Hill" remake and sequel come to mind, along with "Madhouse" but that's about it) so to have two in the same week is very rare. I definitely plan on checking both out.

July 4-6 Box Office

From Variety:

1. Hancock (Sony) $62,603,879/$103,877,446

2. Wall-E (Disney) $32,509,203/$127,196,028

3. Wanted (Uni) $20,050,070/$90,186,395

4. Get Smart (WB) $11,109,408/$98,100,652

5. Kung Fu Panda (DreamWorks) $7,318,635/$193,221,867

6. The Incredible Hulk (Uni) $4,899,280/$124,841,395

7. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Par) $3,774,807/$306,428,521

8. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (Picturehouse) $3,296,929/$5,822,544

9. Sex and the City (New Line) $2,382,438/$144,891,325

10. You Don't Mess with the Zohan (Sony) $1,981,251/$94,773,156

Will Smith shows again why he's the biggest star in the world with a stellar opening for "Hancock." Meanwhile, the Juila Roberts-produced Kitt Kittredge flails about with a disappointing expansion from limited release.

Next weekend sees the fun-looking Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D, Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave, and Hellboy II: The Golden Army all open.

Brief review: "Death Valley"

Distributor: Allumination FilmWorks



Death Valley offers 97 minutes of taut, tense thrills.

Fed up with their mundane, all too ordinary lives, four wannabe thrill-seekers get more than they bargained for when they attend a rave in the desert. Josh (Eric Christian Olsen) and his pals are up for some sex, drugs and rock & roll - not necessarily in that order. But these burning sands, it turns out, are home to "The Scorpions," a biker gang led by sadistic, machete-wielding Dom (Dash Mihok). Soon, without warning, what began as a spirited road trip turns into an agonizing battle for survival as the gang kidnaps one of their friends and rapes the woman they met at the rave (Genevieve Cortese).

Death Valley delivers a plot that you may already recognize as sharing some parallels with the 1972 classic "Deliverance." In spite of drawing comparison and inevitably not measuring up with the John Boorman-directed film, Death Valley is able to succeed on its own terms.

The film succeeds because of writer-directors David Kebo and Rudi Liden's ability to turn a premise that has been done before into something tense and exciting. Aside from the aforementioned "Deliverance," the likes of the 2006 "The Hills Have Eyes" remake explored the idea of cityfolk and the more primitive (in this case a hillbilly-ish biker gang) clashing with deadly results. Their use of a mostly instrumental score heightens the dread as it is so sparingly used that when it is heard, we know something bad is about to happen. Even so, this technique doesn't lead to predictability because the filmmakers have actually made the protagonists a fairly smart group of people. They are a far cry from the sort of dolts that populate many horror-thrillers. You know the kind: the ones that have you yelling at the screen, "Don't go in there, you idiot!" They are also likable, at least for the most part. Sure, they have their moments where they come across as somewhat petty or immature but this too actually works to the film's benefit because it makes them feel more real. In real life, no one is nice all the time so to see them act with selfishness and such makes them more identifiably believable.

It helps that the cast gives solid performances, led by Rider Strong ("Cabin Fever") as the most outspoken of the friends. Also notable is Genevieve Cortese (TV's "Wildfire"). As the film's lone female character, she brings heart and a much-needed vulnerability to the film without devolving into the constantly-screaming caricature sometimes seen in films like this.

Destined to become a sleeper once word gets out just how superbly-crafted it is, Death Valley is a sharp little thriller.

Brief review: "The Tattooist"

Distributor: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment



From Sam Raimi's new direct-to-video imprint Ghost House Underground comes the label's debut feature, The Tattooist. A sporadically effective ghost story, the film is still more entertaining than both of the Raimi-produced "Grudge" films.

Jake Sawyer (Jason Behr, "Dragon Wars," "Skinwalkers" and even "The Grudge") is a skilled artist who has taken his craft and started a tattoo parlor in New Zealand that has quickly become quite successful. While on a trip to Singapore, he learns of the Samoan tattoo tradition that aligns the body art with different phases in one's life. For example, one gets a tattoo when they are deemed to have grown up and become a man or a woman, whatever the case may be. Sawyer becomes especially fascinated with the traditional tools used in Samoan tattoos, a far cry from the standard needlepoint gun he uses. While observing a Samoan artist, he steals of the traditional tools as a souvenir. Unfortunately for him, this is when his troubles begin. From then on, every time he gives someone a tattoo they end up dead a few hours later. He then begins to have visions of a ghostly figure surrounding those whom he has worked on. Is he going crazy or is someone trying to tell him something from beyond the grave?

The Tattooist was so close to being a really good movie at times. When exploring the culture and history behind tattoos in different parts of the world, it is really quite fascinating. The wide variety of tattoo designs was also interesting to see and the scenery was almost as beautiful as director Peter Burger makes great use of its Singapore and New Zealand locales to give the film a distinct flavor.

It is so disappointing then that the actual horror part of the equation is so poorly done and stinks of been there, done that. It is easy to see why Raimi and company picked this up since it is almost identical in important ways to the aforementioned "Grudge" films and "The Messengers." From the ghostly figure haunting corners of rooms in decrepit old houses to the music beats and the noticeable lack of blood and gore, this is definitely plays like a spiritual successor to past Ghost House releases (with the exception of "30 Days of Night"). The myriad attempts at jump scares don't work and the mystery element is so slapdash in construction it resembles a C-grade CBS crime drama with a supernatural element thrown in.

The casting doesn't help matters. Continuing his quest to become the male equivalent of Jessica Alba, Jason Behr is ever so wooden and bland. How he keeps getting lead roles, even in low budget films like this one, is a question only casting directors probably can answer. His romantic interest is played by Mia Blake. She does him no favors as the two have zero chemistry and it is only because she's acting next to him most of the time that Blake comes off as the better of the two actors.

The Tattooist boasts some nice scenery and a few interesting scenes involving the art of the tattoo. Too bad then that the ghost story that is supposed to form the meat of the film is so generic and the acting so amateurish that one is better off renting "The Ring" again if they want a well-done ghost story.

Brief review: "Outpost"

Distributor: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Outpost is a disappointingly dull attempt at a war zombie film.

A wealthy businessman hires a team of mercenaries to act as his bodyguards and escort him to an abandoned World War 2 bunker in war-torn Eastern Europe. The mercenaries, lead by DC (Ray Stevenson, next starring in "The Punisher: War Zone"), do what they're told and don't ask why the man wants to visit the bunker. It is not long though before they happen upon remnants of experiments the Nazis conducted on their own soldiers, experiments whose results were obviously very bloody and very deadly. The situation worsens when they discover a survivor of the experiments clinging to life among the rubble. Just why has the businessman brought them there? And what are those creatures rising from the dead?

With a war horror film you'd think that at the very least, you'd get some nice action sequences. Sadly, Outpost doesn't deliver. The movie moves at a snail's pace throughout. The first half is concentrated on the mercenaries bickering back and forth about the crappy weather conditions and how they would rather be at home boozing it up. Director Steve Barker and writer Rae Brunton try and establish the men as characters but don't really succeed at all. Even after 35 minutes of small talk and bickering, the men still come across as one-dimensional militia types with no distinguishing characteristics available to tell them apart. The result of this is that the majority of the film really achieves nothing. The paranoia experienced by the mercs is so transparent and certainly not believable based on what the film shows us. The idea that men like this would get spooked by blood on the wall and a survivor is not believable in the least.

When it finally decides to get to what should have been the bulk of the film, the rising of and the attack from what can only be called "Nazi Zombies," you'll be so bored with the whole thing that you will be hard-pressed to care about what's happening. Making matters worse, the attack is so short-lived and plainly-staged that it isn't nearly as enthralling as the supposed climax of a film like this should be.

No doubt about it, Outpost has a great premise ("Nazi Zombies!"). Sadly, the filmmakers clearly had no clue what to do with it, making for a tiresome motion picture not worth anyone's time.

"Survival"

According to Home Media Magazine, York Entertainment will release Survival August 12 only on DVD.

The official plot synopsis is below:

When a group of college students gather for their yearly camping excursion in the forests of North Carolina, they plan on a weekend of drinking, partying, and debauchery. What they don t expect is they will soon be fighting for their lives. Because there are terrible people in the woods. Not quite crazed redneck or insane cannibalistic maniac. Not quite a chainsaw-wielding, skin-wearing grampa's boy. This time it's a pair of psychotic siblings, who love to capture and torture their prey. Using physical and psychological torture methods, they bring their victims to the very edge of sanity, then release them back into the wooded area that surrounds their home with only two instincts intact: killing and SURVIVAL.

At least the film doesn't go to the cannibalistic mutant well again. I've seen enough of that to last at least two lifetimes...

Brief review: "Side Sho"

Distributor: Lionsgate


A family on their way to their daughter's softball camp visits a long-forgotten roadside attraction of oddities deep in the Florida swamps. This carnival of attractions is attractive to the father as he is fixing to make a coffee-table book of various country sideshows. Among the old rustic sideshow museum attractions they find an inbred family of murderous mutants who have terrifying plans for their daughters.

Side Sho threatens to become something a little different at times. Unfortunately, it is not long before it falls back into the psychotic backwoods hillbilly formula seen all too often in horror films. What's worse, the budgetary constraints (The film had a budget of only $500,000) inevitably leave it shorted in important areas in a horror film like this. One example would be gore as although the film does have a few nice scenes of realistic gore, other times the blood is either obviously fake-looking or they just cut away. Given that Side Sho is certainly not trying for a moody psychological tone, the failure to show what the viewer most certainly wants to see is an almost unforgivable sin.

As for the few moments when the film threatens to give the viewer something a little different, they too disappoint. Beware, spoilers lie ahead. Skip to the next paragraph to remain spoiler-free. So the dad and brother have seemingly battled and killed all of the psychotic hillbillies, rescued their significant others, and headed back to the car. They start it up and begin driving away. One wonders what will happen next, refreshed that they seem to be heading in a different direction. Instead, the car quickly stalls and they become stuck at the Side Show once again. Even worse, the women get kidnapped again and the film proceeds to basically replay the first half over again, same beats and all. This is basically the same 45-minute film done twice over! And the first 45-minutes aren't that good to begin with. There is nary any tension to be had, the music overpowers the dialogue all too often, and the said music is an annoying music of ambient sounds and something akin to but not quite as good as heavy metal.

As for the acting, it too is lacking. The villains don't really come across as all that villainous. These inbreds have nothing on the "Wrong Turn" and "The Hills Have Eyes" mutants. While those were especially vicious killers that demanded to be feared, these are wimps more content to cackle like idiots than actually do any real harm unless provoked. The acting on the family side isn't much better as the women scream constantly instead of doing anything to fight back and the men are almost as wimpy as the mutants they're fighting. The son is actually the best character as he is the only one who comes close to developing a personality and, unlike the others, fights back with a vengeance, especially for being just a kid.

This is one Side Sho not worth visiting.

Brief review: "Baby Blues"

Distributor: Allumination FilmWorks

Unflinching. Uncompromisingly brutal. Those two words aptly describe Baby Blues. Oh yeah, unbelievably thrilling also fits the cinematic debut of filmmakers Lars E. Jacobson and Amardeep Kaleka.

The film tells the story of a mother (Colleen Porch) who is suffering from a severe case of post-partum depression and soon starts believing it is her duty to kill her four children while her husband is away for work. It's up to her eldest son (Ridge Canipe) to stop her.

The plot synopsis above, along with pretty much any of its kind, cannot do justice to what Baby Blues offers for fans of disturbing cinema. The 75-minute film starts off by establishing what daily life is for this family living out in the country on a makeshift farm, complete with a helper named Lester (Gene Witham) who lives in a nearby trailer. Dad (Joel Bryant) is constantly gone as a result of his job as a truck driver. This leaves Jimmy to fend for himself, helping Mom take care of his younger brother and sister and the family's newborn baby brother and crafting slingshots in his spare time. Poor Mom though has got the worst of it. She must take care of three kids along with making sure the farm and house is kept up. Lately though she has developed quite the temper, snapping at the kids for every little noise they make and worrying that her husband is cheating on her, especially after finding a matchbook for a faraway strip club in the pocket of his clothes. It's not long before she totally loses it, becoming hellbent on killing her three children anyway she can.

During the early scenes leading up to this, the film smartly hints at her psychosis, using slight camera and sound clues to portray her developing madness. A scene in which she hears the baby monitor but the sound is distorted, becoming louder and louder until it envelops the scene, is brilliantly done. The cinematography also deserves a special mention, as it teams with the razorsharp editing to make the film quite gorgeous to look at. It also deserves mentioning how the look of the film gets progressively darker in line with what is happening on-screen. The camera angles also smartly illustrate Mom's madness, framing her from angles best-suited to making her look psychotic.

Baby Blues also accomplishes the feat of making a psychological thriller that melds the best the genre has to offer with that of a straight-ahead horror film, as it becomes a chase film once Mom has made her diabolical intentions clear and her son must do anything he can to survive. The film is relentless in its attempts to thrill the viewer, each portion of the chase intelligently orchestrated for maximum tension.

Writer-directors Lars E. Jacobson and Amardeep Kaleka signal their film as uncompromising in its brutality though with a few scenes I do not want to spoil here. Let me just say that this film does something even the most hardcore films made today shy away from. That said, the scenes are handled in such a way that they somehow fit right in with the dank, intense atmosphere that has been established by the filmmakers and thus do not anger the viewer or cheapen the film in anyway whatsoever.

Of course, a psychological thriller such as this wouldn't be half as effective without good performances in front of the camera. Baby Blues has them in spades. Colleen Porch ("I Know Who Killed Me" and "Transformers") gives a simply superb performance as Mom (who is never given a proper name, lending the film the idea that this could happen to anyone anywhere). She ably portrays one person gradually losing her grip on reality and descending into madness. Ridge Canipe is almost as impressive, especially since he is 13-years of age and will only get better as an actor.

Combine stellar acting with impressive directorial skill and you have Baby Blues, one of the absolute best independent thriller/horror films released in a long time. A must-see!

***Note***

This is a pre-release review. Baby Blues will be available for purchase on August 5.

Brief review: "Triloquist"

Distributor: Dimension Extreme


A truly bizarre horror-comedy, Triloquist is a film you'll either love or hate. I loved it.

From writer-director Mark Jones of "Leprechaun" fame, comes the cross-country saga of sexy, feisty, and more than a little psychotic Angelina (Paydin LoPachin), her autistic brother Norbert (Rocky Marquette) and last but certainly not least, "Dummy" (voiced by Bruce Weitz), their constant companion ever since dear old mom overdosed on heroin in her grungy apartment in between ventriloquist performances. It seems that Norbert talks through Dummy but it is Angelina calling the shots as the trio steals a car, killing anyone who gets in their way, including officers of the law. It seems that since the family bloodline is dying out, Angelina is determined to get her brother pregnant, even if it means kidnapping an innocent bystander (Katie Chonacas) or, worse comes to worse, doing it herself. Ewww!

Mark Jones hasn't done too much since directing the original "Leprechaun" way back in 1993 aside from write the further adventures of the Warwick Davis character. While he has directed a few things, nothing of real note as of late. He seems to have been saving up his energy for this film as Triloquist is hyper-energized. Jones pulls out nearly every directing and editing trick in the book, from jump-cuts to desaturated cinematography to grainy black and white footage in order to bring his unique vision of the most questionable "family unit" to life. The resulting film is a blast to watch if you're in the mood for something a little different. The film may have been marketed as a horror film but it really isn't one. It certainly is never scary. Instead, Triloquist is a pitch-black comedy, the kind of super-dark comedy that demands you to laugh at the absurdity of how the material is handled. From happy-go-lucky circus chimes when the trio are binding and then killing a police officer to the mix of heavy metal and rap while the characters are walking in slow motion away from their victims, Jones makes use of a widely diverse soundtrack in telling his tale.

Really, the film that comes to mind while watching Triloquist is "Natural Born Killers." The way in which this film mixes comedy and flashes of ultra-violence to the use of a variety of camera tricks to the manner in which the killers are almost glorified as they go on a cross-country killing spree, the two films have a lot in common. In this case, most of the humor comes courtesy of Dummy as he spouts off excessively vulgar sexual jokes, makes constant reference to Angelina being "hot" and having "nice tits" to his dreams (yes, the dummy dreams) of naked women dancing around and then making love to him; this is one whacked-out piece of wood.

The acting is decent as really only Paydin LoPachin has a significant speaking role as Rocky Marquette doesn't actually talk. As such, LoPachin has to carry the film on her 20-year old shoulders, which she does quite well. Aside from a few moments where she overacts during her almost constant psychotic tirades, LoPachin is frighteningly believable as a psycho who is able to get what she wants because of how she looks. As the voice of "Dummy," Bruce Weitz is good but sounds a lot like Brad Dourif who does the voice of "Chucky" in the "Child's Play" series about a killer doll so he loses points for recycling a style that has been done multiple times already.

If "Natural Born Killers" had a cinematic cousin," Triloquist would be it.

"Wrong Turn 3" coming soon

According to the good folks over at Dread Central, Fox has given the go-ahead on a third film in what can now be called a trilogy of West Virginia hillbilly goodness. Joe Lynch, the director of the stellar second entry, will not be returning. Instead, Declan O'Brien will be taking the directorial reins. He previously directed "Rock Monster" for The Sci-Fi Channel but we won't hold that against him. The Wrong Turn franchise is difficult to screw up. All you need are the aforementioned cannibalistic hillbillies, a cadre of victims complete with good-looking women, and gruesomely creatively kills, and you have got yourself an entertaining little horror film.

No word yet on a release date but I'm just guessing that it'll be around October of either this year or next (hopefully this year) because that is when the second was released and it sold very well for a direct-to-DVD title.